CONSIDER, THIS...
A bank of Outlandish ideas.
To be implemented
WHEN
I come to power
ROTI RIGHTS: ONLY ROUNDS ALLOWED!
In a wide & shallow bowl– the dimensions of which, could satisfy a pet hamster in need of a swimming pool, I punch, pummel, squeeze, stretch and press a mixture of wheat flour and water into dough.
Most of the time this process works and results in good gooey dough.
There are times it doesn’t – that is when I repurpose the dough into a ‘Chilla’.
A ‘Chilla’ is north India’s answer to the south’s ‘Dosa.’
The question was:
“I want something crispy, thin & made with enough oil to clog the arteries of three adults!”
Ans: ‘Chilla/Dosa’
When the result is edible dough though, I fish the preparation out - from the hamster’s swimming pool–
and divvy it up into fist sized chunks.
After, comes the part where I stretch each chunk across a great, plain slab of marble.
A slab of marble by the way, that would not look out of place in the disc throwing event at the Olympics. This slab: legend says, is accompanied everywhere it goes by its lanky, slender partner–
the ‘Belan’.
It is as unlikely a pairing as that couple you are thinking of right now.
Yet, when employed with a delicate balance of strength and finesse, this unlikely couple–
combines to flatten the wheat balls into ANY SHAPE we desire.
Even so, most people stick to the traditional ‘round’.
Not me, and NOT because I CAN’T.
Mood; decides the shapes of my ‘rotis’.
Happy – Ovals, with ADD
Sad–Triangles, suffering from Obesity
Drunk – Pentagons, with a backache.
Mood notwithstanding,
I shall never make a ROUND roti – once again –
NOT, BECAUSE I CAN’T!!

Nor should you.
Why make only round rotis? Who decided that rotis had to be round?
When did we convince ourselves that only a round roti is worthy of our appreciation?
WHAT WILL IT TAKE TO END THIS OBSESSION?!
I will never bow down to the aristocracy of the round roti maker – Join me!
There is a revolution coming… we shall burn effigies of the round roti!
Round roti makers shall be made to atone for their shallow superiority.
We don’t need round! We never wanted round! We just needed edible.
I solemnly declare that WHEN I come to power – round rotis will attract an additional tax.
We shall shape rotis as our imagination desires and lead our civilization unto greater, shapeless heights.
Vote for me, when and if.